Jonathan Nation

Reflect, Thank; Dream, Plan

November 1, 2021 by jon

At this point, in 2021, my wife and I have been married for over 18 years. She is a medical professional & professor with a Doctorate. I advise leaders who impact thousands directly and millions indirectly. We have multiple business ventures. We produce a lot and help a ton of people.  We have elementary aged children, and would not have lasted together if it were not for a few of our practices we do monthly and annually. 

R,T;D,P started early in our marriage. Some years we are great, some years we sorta do it, and a few we have missed. Looking back – the years we do great are great. The years we miss … we would rather not talk about. 

This year, 2021, a book came out that dramatically adjusted this process for us, so much so an update from the 2011 post was called for. 

It’s not about goals. 

It’s not about achievements.
It’s definitely NOT about controlling your significant other.

Rather – it’s about building the best life you can together, and being able to look back and see how far you have come … be grateful. 

Reflect

The first step is to look back on the past year, or longer, and see where you have come from. What all has happened?

Focus on how you have grown in the past year & moments you would like to happen again. 

When you have gone through this previously, really focus on what gains you made over the past year. Where were you a year ago? How have you grown since then? 

Thank

Be intentional about this part. Have fun with it, and set up whatever rituals or practices work for you. 

We center this around the Thanksgiving holiday in the USA because it just fits.

Not only do I celebrate as a family but also reach out to the people who I am grateful for moments over the past year and beyond. 

This is a time of remembering life is a solo journey yet the people around us are a key in how high we can fly. 

Dream

This moves from the past & present side to the future. Dreaming what the next year or longer should be. Currently I use my model based on relationships for viewing your world, so:

– Yourself – physical, mental, spiritual, capabilities

– Family – the special relationships around you

– Business – if you are an employee – you are a business hiring out your services to your employer. If you own or desire to own one, then you have a slightly different relationship

– Society – other people who are not in your business, or family.

What are the dreams for those four big areas? What about the subparts? Can you paint a picture that you are aiming for?

This time is brainstorming – go wild. Look at different time horizons too:
25 years out

3 years out

In the next 12 months. 

What headings do you want to aim for? Big Hairy Audacious Goals?
Where do you want to travel to?
What do you want to learn?

Legacy you want to leave?

Causes you want to support? 


Who would you be thrilled to be a hero to?

Plan

Setting the vision for the next while so you can see how you grow, gain, and make giving thanks easier next year. 

Where the Dreaming time was brainstorming and coming up with options; planning is deciding what you are willing to commit to, eliminating options, and defining how you measure success. 

We have 3 things we put down on paper. The best years, this is three giant stickynotes and a number of posted notes. 

3+ years out
1 year out
Today

We need that long term where we are heading – you can choose 25 years or 3 (or have both). For this we settled on 3 because it’s about 1,000 days. We don’t need to redo the 3+ years out every year, it gives us some guidance and helps us have a staring point. 

The one year is the main focus. We can even break it down into seasons. 

When you know where you are heading in the short term and longer term, decide on what needs to grow. 

If your intention is to have 40 paid off rental houses in 25 years, it’s easy to record how many rental houses you have today, and set an intention of having a specific number in one year. 

If your intention is to be able to run a 5k in under 10 minutes, make sure you record what rate you can run a 5k in today. Then when you get a 5k under 10 minutes you record the date … and if you don’t reach that 10 min goal, you still look and celebrate your improvement next year. 

That is the key:
Being able to see where you were, and how you are better today. 

If you only record goals you will hit most and growth will happen, yet you are setting yourself up for disappointment, not joy. 

Choose joy. 

Moving forward

A while ago I was talking with one of my good friends. I mentioned – yeah, we need to finish our family budget for this month … it’s only the 14th of the month. He was shocked because his family practice was if they did not have their family budget done before the month began they just forgot about it and moved on. 

It does not matter if it’s November or April or another month. Today is the day you can give thanks, start recording what you are grateful for, and set your intention with where you are today. 



Write now, send a message to someone and tell them something you are grateful for in the past year & your commitment to go through this process starting on the upcoming first of the week or month. People have an easier time continuing something that they start on a first. 

Record what you are grateful for, and put on your calendar to set intentions for now until the end of the year on the next first. 

Filed Under: core, fb, featured, Giving Thanks, life, systems, text Tagged With: dream, Jonathan Nation, plan, reflect, rtdp, thanksgiving

Strengthening Connections in a Distant World.

March 17, 2021 by jon

Avocado Time ...

Avocado Time is the best … 
Face to face where you are all present, ideally in person, present, yet maybe online. 

Moments you want to hold onto and savor forever. 

When separated by space, time or a piece of cloth … there are still ways to strengthen connection and it boils down to evaluating each option on: 

  • Quality
  • Quantity
  • Recency
  • An uncontrollable

Quality Improvements

Imagine water running through a pipe. 
Water is life 
Water is love
The amount of water represents the amount, or quality, of the connection. 

Face to face is the best possible, with touching comfort, and other little options simply letting more flow between those involved.

Video calls, in real time, is the next best. 
Audio calls, still in real time might be better or slightly below a recorded video message. No matter if we are talking using Marco Polo, Glide, or Signal. 

Recordings always have an advantage of being able to re-receive them.

Ever seen in a movie where a character will watch a loved one’s video over and over, or call a number just to hear that special voice? 

A picture is worth 1,000 words; more when you care deeply about the photographer for a great image allows you to see through their eyes … what was she seeing, where was she, what does she value? 

Simple text can mean the world to someone who is longing for connection. 

Thank you … or an improved thank you. 

So satisfying yet the impact depends on the other points of evaluation. 

Quantity

The pure amount of connection. 

When his love language is Quality Time, he does desire a high quantity of high quality time. 
If the quality must be lowered … quantity can be raised. 

Instead of a weekly zoom call; maybe a regular morning or evening video message. 

That would still be a slight quality degradation yet the overall quantity is similar. 

Recency

Would you rather hear from a good friend yesterday or last month? 

If you have a wonderful evening with a great friend three months ago … is the connection deeper or wetter than if that same friend sends you a text just now? 

Relationships take work like it takes additional water to keep something wet sitting out in the sun. 

Who do you care about, wish you have a better connection with? 

Reach out, today & regularly. 

Not out of obligation, yet out of a desire to be closer. 

Ask Questions. 
Share the mundane. 
The beauty around you.
Thank him for being him. 
Praise her for how she made your life better. 

The Uncontrollable

With all that is within your control, there is one thing that is 100% not. 

The other person. 

More important, the story that the other person is telling himself about the relationship, connection, and the future of us. 

He might have a demon he has carried all his life around abandonment or worthiness. 
She might have scars from a past where she was treated poorly, the relationship ended bad and her world crumbled. 

He might be a perfectionist and hold you to an unstated standard. 

She might not know what her desired future is. 

Past, pain & expectations lead to a story she tells herself. 

Owning it & making it known can turn a hindrance in a relationship into a strength. Vulnerability is a key to deeper connections. 

Doing a monthly budget is statistically one of the best habits that decreases the odds of a divorce.

Why?

It’s not about control. 
When you do a monthly budget you face your world as it is today. 

Then you set a vision for 30 days out … when both agree you have common expectations, vision, and a story to tell. 

Yet just saying your desires or expectations once might not be enough. 

Actions speak louder than words. 

I listen to what you do more than what you say, or txt. 

Silence is the hardest response to deal with.

Yet without the words the pattern, frequency & level of water can be lacking. Your pattern of action impacts the story he tells himself, just as his actions impacts your story you tell yourself, but you are still in control of the stories you tell yourself.

There are seasons for all relationships. 

Just like a venture, project or podcast. 

It’s good to have extra checkpoints in addition to the intentional day to day activities. 

Connections are connections. 

Some are well worth fighting for – others are worth letting go – you have a role to play, yet the other person must do her part too. 

The closest to you, the deepest & most foundational relationships have the biggest impact on the achievements you will achieve, 
The fun you have, 
The places you will go, and
The ripples you will cause as you sail through life. 

Please reach out to each person who came to mind as a good example, share this, and thank them for being awesome because the world needs stronger connections … especially … in a distant world. 

Filed Under: core Tagged With: connections, distance, love, remote

Improving Thank You

March 3, 2021 by jon

Thank You.
You are welcome.

A common way to express your gratitude for someone or something, followed by an acknowledgement. 

Yet, it can be better. 

When possible, and there are times of overwhelming gratitude that all a person can say is “thank you” … you can improve your goal of connection and praise for the other person with this one tip: 

Add “for …” 

  • Thank you for sharing. 
  • Thank you for being here.
  • Thank you for listening.
  • Thank you for caring. 
  • Thank you for taking the time to go the extra mile. 
  • Thank you for your investment in my winning.
  • Thank you for doing what you do so naturally, it really helps me because I struggle with this. 

That little bit more increases the connection between yourself and the person you are grateful for. 

It also increases the odds of that person being clear on what you would like them to do more of. 


If you want to take it one step even further, add how you intend to move forward in a better way because of what the person said or did:

“Thank you for sharing that, I am going to add it to my Happy File, to pull out when I need some encouragement.”

So, with that said … 

Thank you for reading, sharing, and adding what you are grateful for when you express your thanksgiving because it amplifies what you are already grateful for.

Filed Under: core, life, mine, text Tagged With: communication, for, love, Thank You, Thank you for

Early Wins To Bigger Wins

December 1, 2019 by jon

“Win the morning … Win the day”

I’ve heard this mindset in many ways over many years. 

It’s simple:

How can you do something that is an easy win ASAP each morning?

That makes you a winner. 

What do winners do?

WIN MORE

And if you have won the morning it means you day is also a win. 

You will always have something to look back on & say:

“I did good there; I won” 

Make each day an easy win by stacking some easy wins first thing in the morning. 

Then hit your one big thing for the day. 

Want easy wins? 

Try one or multiple SAVERS from The Miracle Morning:

  • Silence – prayer/meditation/reflection/stillness
  • Admonitions - affirm your good points, abilities, and successes
  • Visualization – who you are doing the work
  • Exercise – get your body moving
  • Read – gather fuel that makes you better
  • Scribe – write out express of gratitude, lessons learned or future you are building. 

All six is best, when I’m at my best I’m typically doing five of them. 

Trouble identifying that one big thing ->

  • Book: The One Thing
  • Book: Essentialism 
  • Talk with a good Coach

Can you do something good now? 

Earn that little win, then earn one more.

~ Jonathan Nation .com / Early Wins To Bigger Wins

Filed Under: core, featured, mine, text Tagged With: best, coaching, morning, savers, win, winning

Facing The Unknown

April 26, 2019 by jon

Her son found him lying face down on the ground.
She thought they were playing around … at first.

She is now living my wife’s and many others’ worst nightmare.

Widowed with young kids.

It’s probably a common fear for women;
It’s an unspoken fear for men, especially fathers of daughters.

Years ago I faced this fear.

Not because my wife was dying; there could have been a medical concern, yet this was more intentional on my part.

So, what did I do?

Random Car Show in IL

Road Trip

My parents and grandmother provided a wonderful gift even though our financial situation was around the median household income & there were five of us kids.

They found ways for us to travel, see areas, experience nature & I’ve been in just about every log cabin there is in a Tennessee State Park … They all basically look the same; yet the natural wonders I’ve experienced have been marvelous.

A lesson I learned in all that was anyone in the USA can travel; experience culture and wonder different from your normal & without spending huge money too.

Lake Erie

When I face one of my greatest fears: that my wife would die, leaving me with three small daughters … I pushed into that fear.

Our first Road trip fit with a work trip my wife had.

She flew to Norfolk, Virginia where she had an apartment.
The next morning my children and I started driving.

It was not the first road trip; not the first time staying in a hotel; not the first time exploring without a set schedule other than “arrive in Norfolk by bedtime two days from now” … yet it was the first without my wife.

Diamond Mining

On that first trip, we dropped my wife off at the airport to fly home. She had spent some time with us and other time working a 24 hour shift, a norm for her career. We went to Charlotte, NC instead of directly home and stayed with a cousin of mine for a few days.

Again, this was the first trip, having people around was important – just knowing I would be alone with them for a day or two made it an easier step.

Norfolk, VA


We have done multiple trips since. Just me and my children.
It’s not that we don’t want Mommy to be with us, we do this in part due to the career and travel my wife does without us, but it’s bigger than that.

At this point, my children are 8, 8, and 6 … they have spent significant time in 17 states (either a lot of time, or overnight), and been to 2 more that just don’t quite qualify.

Houston Space Center

The last big trip added three new states, with diamond mining in Arkansas, exploring Houston, Texas, and wandering around New Orleans where we parked the car and either walked or rode the mass transit that they have there.

Sometimes we stay in hotels, though if we are in a city for 3 or more days we prefer to find a short-term rental (VRBO or AirBnB) so that I can have a seperate room from where the kids will sleep – they still go to bed many hours before I do and that time is important.

My encouragement to you is two fold:


1. Travel as a family – my mother was told she should never worry about her kids being ready for school simply because she traveled with them.

2. Travel with just your kids – there is no better way to help that relationship & prep for a potential scary future, than forcing yourself for a short period of time to have less support, less backup, less normal … at least for a short period of time.

One final piece of encouragement, and this is to me as much as it is to you ….

Take care of yourself.

Physically with what you eat and exercise.

Mentally with the media you consume – read a book, listen to an audiobook, take a class, study a new subject, develop a new skill.

Emotionally – be a friend, express gratitude, journal, pray, meditate, acknowledge your emotions, name them, share them with specific people.

Spiritually – you have a spiritual side. Beliefs that go beyond what you can see, touch, and feel. Even if you consider yourself an Atheist, or Agnostic … this is a part of you that if you ignore you will eventually discover a major missing part of your life, or you are rejecting specific words and your actions are still very belief based.

Relationships – relationships make the world go around. Find the right people. Connect with them. Strengthen the relationships, but more importantly, support the relationships between people who care about you.

  • You do need a Doctor.
  • You do need a Dentist, and other special medical professionals.
  • You do need a coach, at least one.
  • You do need friends, at least 2, ideally who also care about each other too.
  • You do need to contribute to others.
  • You do need to grow, regularly … and travel can help that.
  • You do need to get stronger.

Then take care of your Significant Other by recording all the little things you do.

Make sure they have access to passwords to log into accounts.
Make sure they know what accounts to really access.
Make sure they know where your Will is.

Have Family Photos captured every year or two; more is better.

Do they know the daily, weekly & monthly schedule for your kids?
If it’s not written down, the answer is no.

Keep sailing,

no matter what vehicle you use for your voyage.


Filed Under: core, fb, featured, home top 6, mine, photography, text Tagged With: family, fear, kids, loving, parenting, respect, to do, unknown

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I am always looking to me more leaders, linchpins, and problem solvers. We need more people to take on a business owner mindset, to seek out pains and problems then find ways to provide value to others.

Let's connect.

~Jonathan Nation

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